In these four months in the Dominican Republic, I have been introduced to quiet time.  Time to think.  Time to reflect.  I have had a lot of time to contemplate my purpose and wonder why I ended up with so much time to think.  In the first few weeks of loneliness and confusion, I continually asked myself “What am I doing here?”

In these four months in the Dominican Republic, I have been introduced to quiet time.  Time to think.  Time to reflect.  I have had a lot of time to contemplate my purpose and wonder why I ended up with so much time to think.  In the first few weeks of loneliness and confusion, I continually asked myself “What am I doing here?”

I was a walking waterfall of sweat because of the heat, I couldn’t understand any of the conversation around me or to me and I was finding very little sleep at nights.

In these four months in the Dominican Republic, I have been introduced to quiet time.  Time to think.  Time to reflect.  I have had a lot of time to contemplate my purpose and wonder why I ended up with so much time to think.  In the first few weeks of loneliness and confusion, I continually asked myself “What am I doing here?”  I was a walking waterfall of sweat because of the heat, I couldn’t understand any of the conversation around me or to me and I was finding very little sleep at nights.

In the next few weeks since I couldn’t get an answer from myself, I tried asking God, “Why did you put me here?”  I know that I live a sinful life, but this was taking punishment a little too far.  Since I didn’t get the answer I was looking for from him, my insecurity and discomfort turned into anger and I ended up in the furious realm of “What am I doing with my life?”  Surely I could have found an easier way to serve God: a way to serve God much closer to my friends and family, a way to serve God in cooler temperatures and access to running water, a way to serve God that is more comfortable for me. 

I wish I could tell you some marvelous story that after all this I heard the voice of God in the middle of the night confirming my purpose and renewing my strength.  There are some days when I wish His voice would say, “Well done, Shannon, your service is done, you can go back home now.”  But I haven’t had either one of those experiences.  And I am finally ok with that.

I know that God is with me.  There is no way He is not with me.  I pretend to be a pretty strong young woman, but I know that I could NEVER have made it these four months by myself.  I do not have the personal strength to conquer the loneliness and fear within me.  I do not have the mental ability to understand the poverty, corruption and injustice around me.  I know that God is with me.

We are together.

The birth of Jesus in the book of Matthew explains that our Savior, born to a virgin shall be called Emmanuel, in Hebrew meaning ‘God with us.’  From the very beginning of his life, he was ordained to be with us – to save us, to comfort us, and to love us.  And to this very moment, no matter where we are, He continues to be with us.

Shannon Walker
Global Mission Intern
Boca Chica, Dominican Republic